So says a story in USA Today. Part of me says post this right away because there will be extensive commentary on it. Another part says, wait and show it to Bonny before I write very much. Here is a compromise: some preliminary comments.
The USA today story reports research from an American Psychosomatic Society meeting, in psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser and her husband reported that more healing of minor blister wounds when married couples avoided discussing disagreements. Hostile discussions increased healing time by 40% (two days). Some comments:
• Studies like this can lead to illogical conclusions. The study, even if correct and accurately reported in USA Today, does not imply that slow healing is caused by marital discord. Reaching this conclusion allows one partner to say “I’m sick and it is your fault!” Blaming does not heal.
• It reminds me of the dilemma posed to Jesus in John 9:2 : “Who sinned, this man or his parents …?” Illness is often the result of anger and resentment. It does not follow that a sick person was angry or resentful, Jesus answer? "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”
• The American Psychosomatic Society is merely providing more evidence for something that we already know. There is a connection among mind, emotions and body. Care of one helps to heal the other two.
The best thing we can do for our spouse is often to take care of ourselves. Regular practices of prayer and meditation and mind body disciplines (yoga, martial arts, tennis, golf) can become a healing resource – for our spouses as well as our selves. In doing so, we can find ways "..that the works of God might be made visible."
It also helps lean to resolve life’s inevitable disagreements in a loving and productive manner. As the report also states: “On the upside, good marriages may buffer couples against the stress of demanding jobs in which the worker has little control. In a study with 201 married adults, those in high-strain jobs had higher blood pressure at the start, says University of Toronto psychiatrist Brian Baker.”
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