A Provocative Quip

Leopold Stitch, commenting the Playgirl reader preference survey quips that “…if it wasn't for double standards, I'd have no standards at all.”

A Playgirl reader survey of women's preferences in pictures

”Forget waxed chests and rock-hard abs. A new survey finds ladies like their men scruffy, a wee bit chubby -- and definitely not a metrosexual.”(NY Daily News)

Playboy readers, however prefer perfection – and variety.

New York matchmaker Janis Spindel, a self-described specialist at setting up "highly successful, well-educated, attractive professionals," confirmed the survey's findings. "It's scary, but women don't care [about looks]," she said. "Men are very superficial and very shallow."

The quip provokes several questions. Why do double standards exist? What function do they have for us? What does the gospel say about them?

Double standards function as a psychological defense mechanism:

• Double standards make it easy for us to “rant and rave” about the other guy’s shortcomings.
• We can look good at cocktail parties, cleverly pointing out all the problems of society. Talk show hosts and TV preachers can bemoan the evils of society – sometimes being exposed as hypocrites.
• Opinion writers and bloggers can feel self-satisfied while blaming others for societal failings. (See, for example my latest rant about the lack of ethical leadership among the bishops.)
• Double standards enable us to blame others – spouses, bosses, or coworkers – for our own shortcomings. Thereby falsely reaffirming our own self esteem and avoiding the work of “sweeping our own side of the street.”

The gospel cautions us against double standards.

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Mt. 7:1-3

When we find ourselves being filled with resentment and taking inventory of the shortcomings of others, it is time to pay attention to the plank in our own eyes. If we do, we will be ready to help our brother – who may be in pain and ask to have that speck removed.